There isn’t a pit deep enough, a ratty hole dark enough, a torture painful enough to exact upon Lilith, the tiefling who dares call herself my sister. Even now, even right this second, I can feel coldness twisting through my veins as my anger turns my world into dry ice. Father’s influence has grown stronger in me during our time here.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Lilith didn’t show her Pelor-shaming face quite yet.
As Brink disappeared into my father’s tower, I said my silent goodbyes. I didn’t want to alarm the rest of the party by outright stating that we wouldn’t be seeing him again, not this far through my father’s tower. The worst thing that could happen is that they begin panic. That’s when father’s magic would kick in and driving them all into madness. So I did the one thing I’m most scared of...I transformed into the woman father always wanted me to be. As we walked into the next room, I approached one of the gigantic demon guards and demanded they let me pass. Thinking quick, Ari came up to help me and spoke in Abyssal so I slapped her. It felt… I’m ashamed to say that the power felt good...having that control over someone. I knew then that father’s influence was growing.
During that moment, an old friend came into my life, one that I thought I might never see again. See, in Hell, there aren’t a lot of demons you can call friend but, Jinx...well, Jinx is different. She was a lowly guard for my father and she taught me how to fight. But having a friend in my home comes at a cost...you never know who you can really trust. Everyone wears multiple faces here and one of father’s favorite games has always been to test his guards by changing into someone else. So whenever I would meet with Jinx, before we would even speak, she would ask if I was who I said I was and to prove it was me, I would make her a little icicle like I’d seen once when father took me above ground briefly.
When Jinx ran up to us in Hell, this was the first thing I did to prove I was really me. She tucked us into a corner and flirted her way out of our tight spot, offering us the one thing we really needed...a place to rest in this neverending torment. She snuck us into an empty barrick and we barred the door shut behind us.
It was in this room that Xiara finally broke her silence and finally addressed me. She’d barely looked at me up until this point, probably hates me more every second I’m in this form because it reminds what I liar I am. She pulled me aside and asked me why I felt the need to lie. I’d gone over this moment a million times in my head, had the perfect things to say but when she looked at me with betrayal and anger in her eyes, everything I’d practiced went out of my head.
She wanted to know why I’d kept this secret from her and all I could think to do was blame her reaction. I looked her in the face and told her the reason I didn’t say anything is because I was scared she would be this upset with me. What kind of answer is that? But there is no way I could begin to describe the deep shame I feel in being what I am. I am Alaemon’s daughter. I am a tiefling. I am a monster. These are sentences that no would will ever understand. These are cuts no amount of healing will ever mend.
So doing the best I could, I tried to tell her how I have been changing, how Pelor has filled me with a new purpose. Teo aided me in my explanation. It wasn’t a kindness I deserved, especially since it is my fault his mother and father are trapped here, but he did it anyway. I’m not sure our talk helped Xi. She didn’t seem any less mad...just a different kind of angry.
But as sleepiness took it’s hold, that was the most I could hope for. I know I promised Lilith but it seems like she will have to wait for another time. Right now, I must go!